Tuesday, February 23, 2016

3 Word Wednesday - Engulf, Fearful, Grimace

Engulf, verb: (of a natural force) sweep over (something) so as to surround or cover it completely.

Fearful, adjective: feeling afraid; showing fear or anxiety, causing or likely to cause people to be afraid; horrifying.

Grimace, noun: an ugly, twisted expression on a person's face, typically expressing disgust, pain, or wry amusement; verb: make a grimace.

“…and this year’s top marketing rep is, Cassie Roberts!” Mark’s announcement was met by applause and eyes all turning in my direction.

I forced a smile onto my face and hoped it looked like a smile and not a grimace. Each new set of eyes was like another wave of panic as I slowly stood and walked towards the stage. The further I walked the deeper I became engulfed in the panic that had started at a slow boil when I learned I was even in the running a few weeks ago.  

Later Derek would tell me that he might have been the only one to recognize that the look in my eyes wasn’t a happy glint but a fearful pleading to make it all stop. I told him that look was directed right at him and he didn’t make it stop. He hugged me and the anxiety of the last month started to fade away.

Monday, February 22, 2016

3 Word Wednesday - Backbone, Cheapen, Dangle

Backbone, noun: spine, spinal column, vertebral column, vertebrae; back, mainstay, cornerstone, foundation, chief support, buttress, pillar, tower of strength, strength of character, strength of will, firmness, resolution, resolve, determination, fortitude, pluck, pluckiness, nerve, courage, mettle, spirit, moral fiber, guts, spunk, grit, true grit.

Cheapen, verb: demean, debase, degrade, lower, humble, devalue, abase, discredit, disgrace, dishonor, shame, humiliate, mortify, prostitute, reduce, lower (in price), cut, mark down, discount, slash.

Dangle, verb: hang (down), droop, swing, sway, wave, trail, stream, wave, swing, jiggle, brandish, flourish, offer, hold out; entice someone with, tempt someone with.

Andrew, I’m
coming for your job.
Keep an eye on me,
because there is
only so much you can take back promotions.
Notice me and accept me as an
equal in the office.

Cheating me out of my due is only
hurtful to you and
each person who has thought less of me.
please take care in what you say,
every time you think I can’t hear your
negative comments, I can.

Devoid of support I can still rise,
and I will rise with or without you on my side.
No one can hold me back
going forward I will make you see my worth.
Look at me, you wouldn’t be you without me,
everyone knows it too.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Sunday Scribblings 2: Prompt 111 - Screech

The feeling of being startled awake only to awaken into complete silence is disturbing. I lay there for a moment wondering what really just woke me up. Was it really a sound or just my dream that sent my eyes snapping open and my heart racing? I strain to hear a sound, any sound when I hear it, the district sound of heavy furniture being moved over wood floors. It’s a dull screech in short bursts as whatever piece she is currently moving is too heavy for her to easily maneuver.

I swing my legs out of bed, fumble on my nightstand for my glasses and shuffle my way into my mother’s room. There she stands in the middle of the room, hands on her hips, clad in only in her nightgown staring at the chair that used to be on the other side of the room.

“Mom.” I say it quietly, I don’t want to startle her.

“I didn’t like it over there in the corner, I think it works better by the window, but now I can’t get around to my side of the bed and I can’t sleep on your father’s side of the bed that just wouldn’t be right.”

“Let’s move the chair back to the corner and we’ll refigure the room,” I look at her nightstand to see the readout on her clock, “later today. After lunch, we’ll rearrange everything for you.”

I move from the doorway and make my way over to my mother. I take a deep breath before guiding her over to the bed, she sits on my father’s side of the bed. My father who has been gone nearly 15 years and whose night stand hasn’t changed since the day he died. I return to the middle of the room and move the chair back to the corner. While I have an easier time, the dull screech follows me across the room.  The sound seems to startle my mother who stands up and watches me.

“Okay, time to go back to bed.” I watch her as she moves around the bed and climbs back under the covers. Only her side of the bed had been disturbed by her late night desire to rearrange her bedroom. The room, like my father’s nightstand, hasn’t changed since my parents bought this furniture 20 some years ago, she won’t want to change it in the morning.

Once she’s in bed I walk over, kiss her forehead and turn of her bedside light. I walk softly to the hallway and stand just outside her door for a few minutes. Once I’m sure she won’t be waking up again I head back to my room. I pick my phone and text my brother, I shouldn’t be the only one awake tonight worrying about Mom.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Weekend Cooking: Cooking the Calendar: January

Weekend Cooking is hosted by Beth Fish Reads

Every year I try to change up the calendar hanging in our kitchen. Just before Christmas we were in Bed, Bath, & Beyond and I saw this really neat looking calendar that had a recipe for each month.  Christmas morning it was under the tree for me!

January was:

I used Hershey's unsweetened cocoa powder, a too big pinch of salt, and had to switch pots half way through (started out with one that was too small) but I have to say it turned out really yummy.  Since it was a lot for just me I stored it in a mason jar and enjoyed hot cocoa a few days and then mixed it equal parts with coffee for a few days of mochas.