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55 Flash Fiction Friday - Day Off

This meme is hosted by Mr. Knowitall.

This is a 55 Fiction I wrote back in college as part of my creative writing class.

Dallas Swat’s Day Off

“What’s wrong?” She asked groggily waking from a sound sleep.
“It’s work I have to go in. Sorry.” He climbs out of bed looking at his pager.
“You know I understand. I feel bad for you it was your day off.” She sits up watching him get dressed. He kisses her. “Be safe.”
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Comments

  1. Brian MillerDecember 6, 2013 at 11:12 AM

    nice little vignette...it leaves enough of the facts out we can fill it in...light or dark....depending on how we want to read it...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amelia ElizabethDecember 6, 2013 at 11:41 AM

      Thanks! My professor at the time was pushing me to write a little more open ended and I started to really liked the light or dark open ended endings.

      Delete
  2. razzamadazzleDecember 6, 2013 at 11:33 AM

    This is a great 55! Good characters and plot. Now I long to know more.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Alice AudreyDecember 6, 2013 at 1:44 PM

    If it's a pager, it's probably important. Hard to see him go, though.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nara MaloneDecember 6, 2013 at 3:36 PM

    Hi Amelia. Love how you used dialogue to tell your story and the open endedness.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yvonne OsborneDecember 6, 2013 at 5:33 PM

    Welcome!!! This one is outside the norm. Congratulations. And isn't she so sweetly understanding? It isn't easy using dialogue to effect in such a short piece. And never tell all. I learned that somewhere along the line. Let your reader figure out a few things for him/herself.

    Again, nice to meet you here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amelia ElizabethDecember 9, 2013 at 1:18 PM

      Thank you! No it's not easy, which was his point. I'm also a part of Pen 10, where we try to write stories in ten lines or less. That also is difficult.

      Delete
  6. MargaretDecember 12, 2013 at 6:32 PM

    Ah.. My husband gets calls at all hours… I am always appreciative when it doesn't ring.

    ReplyDelete

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